lothiriel_1: (yawn)
Holy cats, I need a nap.

Busy weekend. I worked at the store 5.5 hours on Friday night and 12.5 hours on Saturday. Then I returned to the store yesterday afternoon for a special event/demonstration, which was fun, but it really cut into my normal Sunday routine of domestic Goddess chores.

It was worth going to the demo yesterday, though, if only for my mode of transport alone. I went with a friend (also a neighbor) – she drove. If you were in the Central Park mall area in F’burg yesterday around 5:30-6:30 pm and you encountered a black mustang convertible with the top down, 2 women and 2 kids, and the sound of Led Zeppelin and Def Leppard blasting from the stereo speakers, well, that would have been us.

Now I’m here at work (the only one on time, as usual – lots of traffic on 95 north this morning, though), struggling to stay awake. I woke up from a very odd and intense dream around midnight and it took a little while for me to go back to sleep. Guess I’ll be hitting the sack early tonight.

Not much else to report, other than to say ONLY 11 DAYS AND A WAKE-UP LEFT!!!!
lothiriel_1: (opus singing bon jovi)
A cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 1500-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it, and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U. S. Government", says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the man, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... this is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog."
lothiriel_1: (yipes)
1. So...What'd you get in the sack?

2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

5. I got the best piece from that house.

6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....

8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn't get my mouth around it!
lothiriel_1: (Default)
This was a suggested response to those who like to use a certain religious text as their be-all-end-all justification that being gay is WRONGWRONGWRONG.



"Perhaps you should start using some other holy text as a rebuttal? When someone tells you how you should live your life because THE BIBLE SAYS...you could respond with quotes from the scriptures of your choice? Then make sure you let them know that since they are not living up to the standards set by YOUR holy text, that they are in peril of spending eternity wrapped in a large cocoon made of balsa wood and marinara sauce, serenaded by a holy choir of duck-billed platypuses singing show tunes from Grease.

It should work, don't you think? After all, it's in your holy book and everyone knows that is the standard by which you should judge people. And really, when faced with a fate like that in the afterlife - do you really want to take the chance that you're wrong? Eternity is a long time, and platypuses don't sing well. Oh, and balsa-wood gets really scratchy."
lothiriel_1: (Default)
Ganked from [livejournal.com profile] elissa_carey

NO LYING QUIZ

Read more... )

If you answered honestly to all these, repost.
lothiriel_1: (Default)
I think this was actually the result (ISTJ) when I took this personality test in a more formal setting...


Pirate Monkey's Harry Potter Personality Quiz
Harry Potter Personality Quiz
by Pirate Monkeys Inc.
lothiriel_1: (Banzai)
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

Click here for the laughs )
lothiriel_1: (scarecrow)
Forgot something.

In other news, I ordered my Utilikilt (yes [livejournal.com profile] pierceheart, I know you prefer the Amerikilt, but the included sporran just wasn't doing much for me). I bought the Mocker, in olive. Here it is: http://www.utilikilts.com/store/custom_product.php?products_id=18 They even had my size in stock, so it's already shipped. I should get it this week.
lothiriel_1: (Default)
'Cause everyone else is doing it!
lothiriel_1: (human priorities)
But first! An amusing story for you!

Mom has now gone back north and I have the house to myself again. The time passed faster than I thought it would, especially considering that I wasn't doing much of anything. Anyhoo...

Mom and I got out for walks several times while she was here, since the weather was so warm. One day, we were walking by a driveway where a man was out washing his car and listening to Bob Marley and the Wailers on the car stereo. And singing along. Loudly.

One love, one heart. Let's get together and feeeeeeel alllll riiiiight!!!!

It was awesome. We could hear him even when we were several yards past his house.

Okay! On to the meme!

Meme-age )

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