lothiriel_1: (bill milquetoast opus)
Yes, of course there's a story behind the title.

I took today off (got some award time), so I'm sitting in front of the computer at home with my coffee after sleeping in an extra 3.5 hours. As usual, I'm scanning through the posts on a favorite message board, when I see one that catches my eye:

"Jesus is the ultimate fire extinguisher!"

When clicked-on, the one-line post reads, "Think about it."

Okay, on the one hand, I can't stand cutesy religious stuff like this for any religion. On the other hand, this might not even be that good an analogy. Yes, I realize the original poster's purpose was to say that Jesus can help you solve any type of problem. However, the following thought occurred to me and I decided to run with it.



Consider the fire extinguisher. Typically a high-vis red metal cylinder with contents under pressure. Handle certain types roughly (ie. being dropped) and they can become a missile.

Also, not all fire extinguishers are good for all kinds of fires. For those who've let their fire-fighting knowledge get lax, we have 4 classes of fire.

Class A - Fuel is made up of combustible materials - paper, wood, cardboard, some plastics.

Class B - Fuel is composed of combustible or flammable liquids, like gasoline, oil, grease, and kerosene.

Class C - These are fires that involve electricity or electrical/conductive equipment.

Class D - Fuels are combustible metals, like magnesium, sodium, potassium, and titanium.


To further add to the confusion, not all fire extinguishers are good for extinguishing all types of fires. There are multi-purpose extinguishers - you can easily find ones that are good for Classes A, B, and C. But Class D fires need something different to put them out.

Up to date on fire extinguishers? Good. Let's get back to Jesus.


Let's say you decide to commit blasphemy and name your household fire extinguisher Jehovah. One afternoon, your high school age son or daughter is working on a science project and accidentally catches his/her lab (aka "bedroom") on fire while comparing the flame colors of magnesium and sodium. Quickly, you grab Jehovah and run to the scene. You pull the pin on Jehovah(!), aim His hose(!) at the base of the flames, and squeeze the handle.

Fire keeps burning. Yes, while Jehovah IS a multi-purpose extinguisher, he can't put out this class D fire, because he's only rated for ABC class fires.


The moral of the story is that, just like Jehovah the Fire Extinguisher is only rated for certain classes of fires, Jesus doesn't work for all people as a problem solver. This should not diminish his value for those who feel their problems are solved with his help, however, it should show that others can just as successfully find their solace elsewhere.

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lothiriel_1

October 2009

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