lothiriel_1: (gagging goldfish)
[personal profile] lothiriel_1
About a month ago, I updated my profile on Match.com to reflect that I'm interested in men (it was originally set for women, but it appears that there aren't any quality single women in my area).

Since making the updates, I've gotten several "winks". Here's where I start shaking my head in dismay. Seriously, do people actually READ the profiles they click on before choosing the "wink" option? My main beef is with the ones who apparently have no concept of distance. My profile says that I'm looking for people within a certain distance radius from me. I wouldn't mind adding on another 10-20 miles for someone who really piques my interest, but really, Alabama? California? South Carolina? The U.K.? Long distance relationships don't work for me - it makes spending quality time with someone difficult.

And the "no smokers" thing? That is NOT NEGOTIABLE. Any winks from someone with a profile that states he's a smoker in some capacity will get an immediate "no thanks" response. Also, my definition of "physically fit" does not normally include people who have more chins than a Beijing telephone directory. Sorry.

Dating sucks.

Date: 2008-11-16 02:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elissa-carey.livejournal.com
Actually, it's more that internet dating where men are involved that sucks. 90% of them do a lot of stupid crap just like you describe. Those guys don't read, just like you said; they just see a face/figure they like the look of. It's the other 10% that can make it worthwhile, but oh what bullshit you have to go through to find them or get them.

Are you paying for Match.com, or using a free trial?

Also, consider this: there may be (or should be!) quality women in your area, but simply aren't sending you winks. Not necessarily because they don't like you, but because of our natural reticence to make the first move. I'm going to assume that you have been sending winks and such, though, because you're smart like that. :)

Date: 2008-11-16 02:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lothiriel-1.livejournal.com
I'm actually paying for the service. Sigh...

Honestly, I think that some of these bozos put in the barest parameters for a search, and then send winks to everyone who pops up, hoping for a response. Guess I'm a wee bit more picky than that.

And yeah, I sent out a few winks to women. They're routinely ignored - not even the courtesy of a "no, thanks".

Did I mention that dating sucks?

Date: 2008-11-16 02:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elissa-carey.livejournal.com
That it does.

I'd suggest using OK Cupid: you'd likely get the same kinds of responses (and non-responses), but at least you wouldn't be paying for it. (Also, I have a feeling -- not based on any fact, mind you -- that Match.com is a lot more hetero-centered. OK Cupid spans hetero, bi, & gay.)

Date: 2008-11-16 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lothiriel-1.livejournal.com
Hmmm... I'll go give it a look-see. Thanks!

Date: 2008-11-16 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] etainwilson.livejournal.com
Yes. It does.

Date: 2008-11-16 10:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] etainwilson.livejournal.com
I have a paid membership on equestrian singles and am having about the same luck btw.

Date: 2008-11-17 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littlemissangel.livejournal.com
They shouldn't even have that stupid winks option on serious dating sites. It takes absolutely NO effort and no, they probably don't even look your profile over very well.

Date: 2008-11-17 04:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lothiriel-1.livejournal.com
One of the winks (a message, actually) came from a guy in CA who is going to be visiting a cousin in DC. Um, you want to meet a total stranger during a short trip? Why not just utilize an escort service?

The Alabama wink came in this weekend. Geez. READ, people!

I did set up a profile on OKCupid, at Elissa's suggestion. I haven't decided whether I like the format of the site or not (what's up with all the freaking questions?!?), but it's free, and I can specify that I'm bi. I'll give it a shot, but I didn't find too many interesting prospects during my search yesterday. I did send a "woo" (?) and a message to one guy. No response as of this morning before I left for work.

Date: 2008-11-17 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littlemissangel.livejournal.com
That is strange!

I used to be on one of those sites and had the same problem... guys in other states, smokers, hunters, heavy-duty Christians... they were all writing to me when I clearly put my interests and what I was NOT interested in on my profile.

I hope you have more luck with that site. I never tried that one. Have you tried Yahoo personals? I tried that briefly though you have to pay. The good thing about paid accounts (as long as they aren't stupidly expensive) is that guys who pay for an account sometimes make more of an effort to send an actual message rather than just a wink.


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